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Tuesday, January 3rd, 2006
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new year, new life.
working at my new schedule now, 12am-8am
some people call it the midnight shift, but i think it is actually better for me, more time for friends.
since it is the new year, i'll need to come up with some new year resolutions.
first of all, i want to find a hobby that i can stick to.
second, i need to be passionate about something,
...
/more resolutions to come
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Wednesday, July 20th, 2005
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Haven't updated at all this summer yet...
many things i want to say, but i don't know how to begin.
firstly, regarding graduation
junior yr in high school, the song graduation touched my heart.
"And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track"
I wondered if that is how i'll feel when its my turn to graduate.
Senior yr in high school, our prom song was "Time of Your Life" by Greenday, though many didn't think it was the best of choice.
Our song during graduation was " One moment in Time" by Whitney Houston.
The pop song for that summer for graduates was " Here's to the Night" by Eve 6. I didn't think much of it,.
And then come this May, 2005. We marched to " New York, New York" at the end of our commencement ceremony. The sense of graudation is more impressionable, yet at the same time, i'm in denial of it. When we leave this year, we really, won't be coming back. This is THE departure: from a continuous 12 yr of student life, to that of a graduate. There are many things that were unsaid and many things what weren't done, and i have already start to regret.
I have grew close to many people, but i know we will start to grow apart, despite what we promised each other at the end of the semester, because i am no longer a student. I have forged many new friendships, but i don't know whether they will continue to develop.
I am in a turning point in my life. I feel lost and i'm in denial of everything. i realize i am weak...
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This semester is the only semester i haven't slept in butler.
it is the only semester that isn't as stressful.
however, other things have been on my mine.
such as:
-where the heck did i leave my wallet and id card?!!!
-what the heck am i going to do after i graduate? i need a job
-why am i so depressed lately?
i think i'm having ulcers.
i need a break.
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i just showered after 2 days of dirtiness.
And i blow-dried my hair nerd style.
i love it!! im definitely a nerd deep down inside.
and i love blow drying my hair!!!
thanks michelle for leaving you blow-dryer here.
man... if only my glasses isn't bent out of shape, i can be a super nerd.
someone sat on my glasses during karaoke after the installs, it could be me, but iono.
hm... if super nerd needs hte big thick rimmed glasses, i only have a have frame one. maybe i'll jsut be a cool nerd instead.
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lambda formal last night was interested.
the whole ordeal lasted for almost 12 hrs.
dates and bros met in the suite at 5 pm, did the typcial intro of dates,
relocated down to Asia Roma for the 2 hour open bar, which lasted WAY TOO LONG.
too many bros got drunk, so the I's and K's weren't able to present, and too many bros passed out and left, so there was not slideshow.
AS A SENIOR, I WANNA SEE THE PRESENTATIONS AND SLIDE SHOW!!!
then afterwards, we relocated to IPOP for some nice karaoke.
phil passed out while there, so being the awesome pledge bro that i am, i don't him to miss out on the fun, so i made him part of the fun.
i borrowed/stole a sharpie from the front desk and started drawing on his face, and others chimed in.
it was a piece of art!!
after that we decided everytime we go drinking, we're bringing a sharpie with us.
karaoke was awesome, angry songs, sappy songs, boy band songs + dance.
didn't get back to the suite till 5:20 am.
this installs is awesome, besides not having any class get installed.
the 12 hr ordeal
*** hi its jenn :) okkiiiee heres summary of last night cut down: free alcohol = very drunk lambdas. there was no damn slide presentation. no damn skits :( and all i got out of it was puke on my dress and shoes from my extremely drunk date...you lambdas sure know how to party hard :) ok im done. ps. yale rocks my socks!!!** POST PICTURES YALE LET THEM SEE THE TRUE SIDE OF LAMBDAS!!! :)
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i'm getting more and more easily agitated.
its gettign harder and harder to keep myself calm.
need to find the balance in life.
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Tuesday, April 12th, 2005
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i might be leaving US soon after i graduate.
is it worth it to invest more of my emotions here?
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Your dating personality profile:
Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love.
Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.
Stylish - You do not lack for fashion sense. Style matters. You wouldn't want to be seen with someone who doesn't care about her appearance. | Your date match profile:
Religious - You seek someone who is grounded in faith and who possesses religious values. You believe that a religious person can enhance your life.
Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.
Conservative - Forget liberals, you need a conservative match. Political discussions interest you, and a conservative will offer the viewpoint you need. | Your Top Ten Traits
1. Big-Hearted
2. Liberal
3. Stylish
4. Religious
5. Adventurous
6. Practical
7. Funny
8. Wealthy/Ambitious
9. Shy
10. Romantic
| Your Top Ten Match Traits
1. Religious
2. Practical
3. Conservative
4. Funny
5. Athletic
6. Stylish
7. Adventurous
8. Big-Hearted
9. Outgoing
10. Wealthy/Ambitious
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Take the Online Dating Personality Quiz at Dating Diversions
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Wednesday, April 6th, 2005
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| yalie |
There are many things that I want and want to become in this world.
I want to be musical. I want to be artistic. I want to be suave. I want to be sensitive. I want to be mysterious. I want to be a great dancer. I want to be a great cook. I want to open a cafe and resturant of my own. I want to start a bio-tech/biomedical company of my own. I want to be important. I want to be powerful.
I want to be many thing that I am not. And there are many things which i SHOULD be , but I am not.
|...signing out |
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| Only in New York City can you be sitting outside in the sun surrounded by people, and still feel alone. |
Today is a beautiful day, up, out and about around 1030, steph came over after her midterm and we went to get bubble tea and lunch.
Then we process to move our food and our butt out onto the steps. We just sat there and see people started waking up and coming out to enjoy the sun. Haven't hung with her in a while, feels like she's changed, in a good way.
I feel i need to re-organize my life and my priorities. I should not let other people get to me.
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Saturday, April 2nd, 2005
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|yale|
I'm back on LJ.
Been away from here for quite a while.
Couple of us started in LJ 4 years ago as a senior in hs, hoping that through here, we can be in touch with each others' lives.
4 years have passed, how many of us still read or write on LJ?
Granted that a significant number of us have xangas, but i feel LJ is what started it.
Some of the hs friend have stopped writing, some have deleted their account altogether.
I was just reading the old entries, ones we wrote in the days of graduation and in the days between high school and college.
Jealousy, joy, pain, uncertainty.
These feelings still remain.
|signing out, yale|
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Saturday, March 19th, 2005
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| yalie... |
yay!!!!
back in the warmth of nyc
i think i'm going to be so spoiled by nyc prices the next week or so.
london(england) and reykjavik(iceland) is crazy expensive.
in london all the price tags seems reasonably prices, a hot dog for 2.50, a can of soda for 1.50, a sit down dish for 8. But these are in pounds, you to times it by TWO. crazy expensive.
and reykjavik..., wow... 100 kr is about $1.7
so a bowl of "tradition lamb soup" ( i can make that here) is about 800 kr, which is +$10, and we had a sandwitch for like 738 kr, which is also around $10 ( though it is very good)
so we got back friday night, and i made myself some yummy steak, a nice spinach salad, and foccacia bread with EVOO/sour cream with herb dipping sauce, turn out to be around 600-650 kr, or 5 GBP.
more updates later.
i dont' know why i can't sleep. i want to say its because of jet-lag, however, london and iceland are both on standard mid greenwich time, which is 5 hr ahead of us... i think its the coffee i had along with my steak dinner.
.:signing out:.
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Monday, February 14th, 2005
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Ode to the Nice Guys
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003
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Friday, February 11th, 2005
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I will be 22 years old soon.
I'm scared of what is ahead in my life.
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Wednesday, February 9th, 2005
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i'm sick, and i can't breathe, and i can't sleep.
and i'm tired...
being sick takes away my sense of smell and sense of taste,
i hate being sick.
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spring is suppose to be a happy cheerful season.
bursts of warm weather, nights with soft drizzles.
it suppose to be happy and full of life.
however is ee death everywhere.
walking around on campus when its raining, i can't help to notice dead bodies of worms that crawled out from the soil in hope to get away from the water and be able to breath and the wiggly worms struggling for their lives in the puddles of water. i dont' know what to do. Do i pick it up and put it back in the soil where it'll jsut suffocate, or do i leave them in the puddles where it'll drown.
i feel bad for enjoying the drizzling rain when these worms are struggling for their lives.
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Tuesday, August 26th, 2003
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why am i like so? why do i torture myself so? why an't i jsut do what i want, and what i have to do?!
what am i afraid of? what am i unsure of?
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Tuesday, February 25th, 2003
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Sunday, September 8th, 2002
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hey guys and girls, yes i've finally decided to update my xanga with something.
college started last tuesday 9/3/02 and i got back to the states on 8/28/02 and moved on to my new hoem of this year, EC2004A double 8/29/02.
i don't know if many ppl knowz, i think i'd told some of u guys, i've been feelgn quite depressed for the past week or so.
i feel depressed, alone, empty, quiet, nostalgic and antisocial. even though some of my friends are also antisocial ( ok jsut one ) but its not wat i want. i was friendly and social and talkative and not boring (haha, or at least i didn't consider myself that boring ) but now i'm not.
last week, us ccc took some freshies to Vineiro for coffee/cheesecake. and i was so quiet . suppose to mingle wit them... b ut jsut didn't feel like it. jsut feel liek being quiet and listening so i jsut sat there. i made some conversation, but i'm still so disappointed in myslef.
last yr i was so looking forward to being a soph. i always thought to myself that when i'm a soph, i'd be so nice ot the freshies, haha my and suanne kidna planned on spoiling them cuz it'll jsut be fun. but somehow that plan doesn't seem quite as interesting as b4, i've been jsut feelign so down..........
sigh... only freshies are suppose to have this feeling of nostalgic, since i didn't have it last yr, i guess i'm having it now.
i really miss my old stuy frineds.... especially the ppl i took the lirr with: stfn, j2 and hwrd
i feel... that here i dont' really have ne one i can talk to, its not that i actually dont' its jsut that i dont' feel i do... dont' feel i have someone i can talk to, complain to or whine like a baby to.
after several disccussions wit soem friends we came to teh conclusion that i need a closure to my high school life, and i need a new beginning for my college life. i think i know how to make the closure... but i don't if i can really set my hearts to it.... i feel she still moves my heart beat even though its been a long time, i thought i've got over... but apparently i haven't... or maybe it just that i dont' want to.....
as to how to have a new beginning of college life.... i really have no idea.... i mean i've been in college for a yr already.... should'd found a way for closure of high school and the beginning of college.... but apparently i haven't....
.... my friends thinks all will be ok if i jsut get laid.... ne advice?
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Monday, September 2nd, 2002
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You are an Accord EX-V6. You're not quite plebian, but you're a comfortable and conservative sort of person who keeps a balanced view and level head during a conflict. You can be rather demanding at times, but it's all in a pursuit to keep things mellow.
which honda are you? | visit high mileage
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